i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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