I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
