I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I currently don't understand fingers.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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