I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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