in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life