I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.