Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.