Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

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(804): View more from Virginia

they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house

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(804): they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house http://tfl.nu/am3o

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(417): View more from Missouri

I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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(417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif

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(865): View more from Tennessee

that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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(865): that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is. http://tfl.nu/8h8l

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(847): View more from Illinois

he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again

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(847): he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again http://tfl.nu/lfrb

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(469): View more from Texas

I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.

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(469): I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs. http://tfl.nu/36r0

Replies (10) Good night (3977) Bad night (991)
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(941): View more from Florida

Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?

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(941): Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket? http://tfl.nu/fc98

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(509): View more from Washington

Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving

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(509): Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving http://tfl.nu/hfo8

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(315): View more from New York

I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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(315): I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you http://tfl.nu/9k47

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(514): View more from Quebec

OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?

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(514): OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/286d

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(540): View more from Virginia

how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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(540): how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove. http://tfl.nu/z4wf

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(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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(775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp

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(734): View more from Michigan

Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20

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(734): Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20 http://tfl.nu/rssu

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(407): View more from Florida

Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.

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(407): Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it. http://tfl.nu/49t8

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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(406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l

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