3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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