Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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