She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
