i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
