Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
