the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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