Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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