you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
