i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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