yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
