dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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