I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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