He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
