You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
