He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
40s are totally the cure
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
