i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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