i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
