My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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