The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
