What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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