I hate your face
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he thought i was a dude.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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