Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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