Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
