You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
