Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
