my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
