that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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