Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
