You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
