I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
