It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
