I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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