he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
