can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is wine microwaveable?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
