i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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