I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
