i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I want a musical about memes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize