I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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