She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
