Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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