hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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