I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
