Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
