You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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