All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
