I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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