So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
