It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
