Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
