I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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