So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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