Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
