just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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